Posted by Kathy in MD on 14:27 Jan 17
In Reply to: 8th grade dd w/learning disabilities and speech/language issues, can you help?.......m posted by DianeJM
Some public school systems do have good programs for IEP students. However your concerns about your dd being a crowd pleaser would make me think twice about sending her. I might still try it IF dd had some good friends already in the school to include her in good situations AND the school had a program that would would work for her.
What other high schools are in your commuting area? Some may not be special ed oriented, yet still work well with special students. That ,combined with a very good ST, could help. In fact, the private school probably would have a therapist in the school or at least one they refer parents to. The two special ed schools you may be able to advise you also. Come to think of it, check if they offer bus service. I know a lot of private schools do, some even cover quite a distance.
If you do decide to homeschool, I have several hints for working with a child who doesn't want to work with mom.
1) For a month or so, work on reducing her relunctance to be criticised by you. Sit together on the sofa and read books outloud or watch ed. videos. Make comments about what what you notice. Never ask a question that would put her on the spot. Only ask easy questions. No matter how wild the answer or opinion, listen seriously. But don't argue. Sometimes my ds considers even the most inocuous statements as being a direct criticism of him and things go quickly downhill.
2) When you start working more intensely with her, work on praising what she gets right. Don't correct her mistakes. Quietly observe the mistakes and develop another worksheet or lecture to reteach her her later. Later you can start correcting gently. Be sure you comment on what she did correctly much more. Bite your tongue a lot. (note to self....remember to bite tongue)
3) After she does the work, review her work with her as you grade it. Often I read the answers to my ds, while he actually grades his work. We can discuss mistakes or misunderstandings. Include real comments such as "I would have missed this one" Or "I think your answer is better". Or "I don't understand why this is right" and then try to figure out why it's right.
3) Be aware that some mistakes, arguments, fights and unpleasantness is because of vocabulary problems. Every now and then I stop my ds when he's fighting mad and ask if he knows what a word means that I used just before he got mad. Often he doesn't. Or he misunderstood it. The problem's resolved.
4) Use DVD courses when possible. You can still keep an eye on things, but someone else is doing the teaching. Both my ds and I enjoy Chalk Dust math and Latin for Children for this. Maybe hire someone to teach a difficult subject.
5) Select programs with easy to understand directions that don't over load her. For example, I'm using Sentence Composing for Elementary School for my 13 yo instead of Middle School. He's still learning, but he isn't stressed by too much, too fast.
6) Remember praise, praise, praise. Don't use meaningless comments such as good job. Instead tell her that her accuracy has improved, or that she reduced the number of sentence fragments, or that her opening sentence made you want to read the paragraph. Even after a rough time, you should see my ds beam when I comment on how much he's improved on X.
7) Keep some part of the school day low stress and fun. DS and I cuddle (yes, a 13 yo boy!) on the sofa and read Thinking Tools together. We interact because of the questions in the book and taking turns reading, but there's no grading and no stress.