Posted by Stephanie Z on 19:34 Jan 8
In Reply to: Please help re: gifted son -- PLEASE posted by Dawn K
Sounds worrisome to me -- the thing I'd be worried about is that your son's dad is framing his son's differences in a very negative way. So, he's different. So, what!? So are most genuises. So are many non-genius but still fabulous productive people.
A parent is needed to frame the uniqueness in a positive, wonderful light and to support the child's growth in all ways, with special concern for any unique needs/challenges EVERY child has.
I'd focus for a moment on making sure you and your dh are on the same page on this issue and your dh is not damaging his son, or even his relationship with his son and/or you, by framing his uniqueness in a very negative way. Take him to dinner or for a walk and tell him you want to talk about your ds. . . .
I am SURE he can find positive ways to frame his unique attributes if he tries. (He's brilliant, just like Uncle Bob the biophysicist. He loves to talk endlessly about weird science stuff, just like that quirky billionaire Bob Gates. . . or whatever.)
But, to focus on the negative in such a demoralizing way is really sad and damaging to all of you. It's OK to be worried and to confide his fears to you, but you need to be able to talk in a way together that you both come out of it feeling hopeful, positive, and focused on bringing the best out in your son, not in prophesizing doom and failure for an 8 yo boy who apparently has many wonderful attributes and has not demonstrated any terrible (wicked, evil, etc.) attributes. Personally, I'd have a real heart to heart with my dh and get a professional (minister, counselor, etc.) involved in the conversation to help us talk clearly if we couldn't come to a good place on our own.