Posted by DB in NJ on 22:21 Dec 28
In Reply to: I know what you mean, babe. I'm there. But it's there whether or not you stop and deal with it. posted by Pam in MD
My Gram died in October. We were very, very close all of my life. A few years ago, she developed dementia, I moved her in with me, she became too much, and my father had to get involved (her only child). He moved her into assisted living without telling me where he put her, etc. Told me it was a mess that I had made that now he had to come in and clean up. Nice.
Fast forward to her funeral. The man didn't speak to me. Completely ignored me. As I stood weeping over her coffin, he & his wife just glared at me. When I stood up and turned toward him, he smirked, shrugged his shoulders, and stared me down.
For someone who was once so very close to this man, I cannot tell you how badly the past few years have hurt me. I really, honestly cannot allow myself to dwell on the pain...it simply hurts too much. Truly, it's about 20 years worth of pain.
My father lives less than an hour away. But for all intents and purposes, he's dead.
I can't let myself really think about this.