Posted by Carrie (formerly in CA, now WA) on 1:47 Dec 24
I quote my father: "I tell you what. If it's got contact, it's not gonna set fire to the house."
Well. Thank God.
The house was wired nearly 30 years ago by some drunk guy who has since done time for shooting his neighbor dead. I think it was a bit of overreaction, sending the guy to jail, since he only pulled out his gun because the neighbor wouldn't stop beating his wife. But the guy was drunk (did I mention he was drunk? A lot?), and perhaps did not use the judgement most of us would have considered simple common sense under the circumstances. He could have called the police, say, instead of doing time for murder. But I digress.
The man drank. A lot. And managed to wire the entire south side of the ~3000 sq. ft. house onto one breaker. When we first moved in here, 25 years ago, one could not blow dry one's hair with the lights on. One could not vacuum with the lights on. One could not run the dishwasher while vacuuming. Etc. Ad infinitum. Or nauseum. Whatever.
So apparently we won't be burning down the house tonight. Which is a shame, really. Considering how much easier it would make things when my parents decide to move. And how much more difficult it would make for certain um, relations, to find us. You know. The ones who make us, ah, want to imbibe. Or imbibe a lot and then shoot them. Sigh...
Goodness. For a bunch of laid back teetotallers, the mood in this house is becoming a touch rabid. Quick--somebody make up a Christmas song about in-laws. Thanks.